Thursday, December 16, 2010

I Hate People Who Look Good At the Beach

I think there should be one exception in fashion - where you can just look like crap, it should be at the beach! I look at my absolute worst when I am at the beach. It really bugs me that some people look absolutley radiant! Here is why I don't...

1. I don't wear stuff I value and I don't wear many accessories as I would hate for any of these to be stolen. I'm a paranoid person and after watching too many episodes of Bondi Rescue (guilty pleasure alert) I'm well aware that peoples' things at the beach get stolen. Alot.
2. I have really crap eyesight and I can't wear my glasses to the beach, so that rules out my ability to see - hence I'll be squinty. True, I sometimes wear contacts, but if I go underwater, something about water and contacts don't mix and the contacts get stuck to my eyeballs and I have to scratch them off later. Painful, to say the least. And then I will be stuck with bloodshot eyes. Squinty or Bloodshot - interesting choice.
3.  Suncream. I am quite dark, not heaps dark, but dark enough. Something about suncream makes my skin go a purpleish tinge when I rub it into my skin,  even worse when I get into the water - almost luminously purple. There is some weird purple pigment within sunscreen that rubs into white skin - not so well with my tone. Almost like my skin is the colour of a corpse - very flattering.
4. I have naturally wavy - borderline curly hair. It goes absoloutley foul after being in sea water. I'm talking crazy lady curly, where it looks like I've never learned the art of combing my hair.

So all in all, at the beach I am a hobo clad, squinty crazy lady who turns into a purple monster in the water. So a big 'you suck!' to all the people who look great at the beach, I hate you/want to be you!

PS. I look absoloutley bangin' anywhere else!

Non mi piacciono le persone chi sono belle dopo a visitare la spiaggia. Io sono brutta dopo la spiaggia, soprattutto i miei capelli !

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